They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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