This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
