508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
