Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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