So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
