I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
