where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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