Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize