You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
