We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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