So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
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I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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