:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
