Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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