Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
