im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize