I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
