Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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