ugly people sure do ruin things
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
