He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
