Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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