I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
