I must be too annoying 4 u.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this beer tastes like vomit already
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
