Don't you send me to vm
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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