I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
