Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm always down for nudity.
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