Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
