he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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