bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
