I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
