you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
