I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
