It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
