we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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