apparently the secret to your success is patron
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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