the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
