My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
