so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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