Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
