My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
