So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
