I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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