I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize