Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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