Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize