You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
