Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
