If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
