you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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