FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
