It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
