I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize