how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
