You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
