All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
