No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize