you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i out mim tonsoeep
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