Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
