Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
