her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
