Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
