Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My vagina is officially offended.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize