Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
