it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize