My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you would pick up someone in the library
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
