the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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